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I left in tears at 5am in the morning, looked in on my two year old son and was tempted to take him away with me on a train to my parents, some 500kms away. Yes I might have taken my son, as I was his father and also the police may not have arrested me and Trophy Skin taken him back. I could have settled in my home city and therefore the fight for custody may have started ten hours later when Sharryn would are angrily shouting at me at my parent's house over the phone.
But taking my son would hurt Sharryn and though she had told me to depart, I was not going to hurt her in that approach. Besides, let's face it, mothers are made to nurture kids, and youngsters are best raised with a mother if it is potential. Fathers are good at parenting and I have met fine fathers in my time, but God made breasts on a women and it kinda proves the babies should be nearer to mum.
Therefore leaving Sharryn that morning was kinda leaving my heart in that house in her spirit and part of my heart broke leaving my very little boy also. Some individuals would possibly assume that a male does not weep when he goes from a fourteen day a fortnight full time father to a a pair of day a fortnight part time father, however girls to a sensitive co dependent tousled guy like me, losing the full time relationship with my son made me very unhappy.
For 8 hours on the train to my folks' house I wept. The trees and meadows and farms glided by outside, with splashes of green and brown and the odd blue river below a bridge, and within I wept as quietly as I could therefore as not disturb anyone.
Six days later in an exceedingly shower I set to kill myself and if it had not been for my spiritually in tune mother who worried concerning her son in that shower that day, and my younger brother who was a trained counsellor, I wouldn't are typing this.
