Duality Review
He looked at me again and then at my Duality Review daughter. His eyes became red with tears. He said, oh my God, you are a beautiful woman now. He walked closer to my car and looked in. He said, you are a mother now, they are so beautiful. I did not want to engage with him, but I told him that I was happy and had a great life. He said, you look like you are doing well, I always knew you would.
I just looked at him, wondering why of all things he would say that. Did he not have any memory at all of the pain he had brought to me. All of a sudden he just started to cry as he said over and over, I am so sorry, I am so sorry for everything I did to you. In all my years, I had never known him to cry, I didn't think he was capable of being anything other than a cruel monster. Many children grow up being afraid of the boogey man or the monster in the closet. Not me, I grew up afraid of the man who was my father. The man who was supposed to tuck me in at night and protect me from the world and people who might hurt me.
By now, people were around us and my children were in the car confused as to why I was making this adult man cry. It did not feel like reality, yet in that moment, I had never felt more grounded or strong. I did not feel afraid anymore, the years pain he put my mother, brother and me through, seemed to mesh together. I just said, I am glad to see you are well and I went to get in my car. It dawned on me that until that moment, he had never taken accountability for his actions or had ever apologized for the things he took from my childhood. The first twelve years of my childhood.
I wanted to drive away and process what was happening, then I could hear in my head, the words of the man in my dream. He stood there sobbing and I turned around, put my hand on his shoulder and said, I need to tell you that I forgive you. He just looked at me and crouched to his knees on the ground. By this time, everyone at the station was staring at us, no one knew what was going on. I got in my car and drove away as he was still kneeling there on the ground by the pump.
